Order & Priorities: Keys to Success

Dear Kari & Phil,

I’m feeling overwhelmed trying to balance my relationship with God, my marriage, and raising my children. Can you help me understand how to prioritize these important aspects of my life?

Sincerely,

Overwhelmed in Okotoks

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Dear Overwhelmed in Okotoks,

Balancing your faith, marriage, and parenting can indeed feel like a juggling act, but the key to a flourishing family life lies in understanding the right order of priorities: first God, second your spouse, and finally your children. Let me explain how this hierarchy can help each aspect of your life prosper.

1. God First: Your Foundation in Life

Putting God first means making your faith the cornerstone of your life. When you prioritize your relationship with your Creator, you invite a sense of peace, purpose, and guidance into your daily existence. Start your day with prayer or meditation and attend mass together. Incorporating your faith into your daily family life and traditions goes a long way to bring harmony and balance. This spiritual grounding will provide the strength and wisdom needed to navigate the complexities of marriage and parenting.

2. Yourself: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual welfare 

Taking care of ourselves is the opposite of being selfish, as it strengthens us and enables us to support our families and their individual needs better. We are of no benefit to anyone if our energy and physical well-being are compromised, because we have given it all away.  Self-care is an antidote to stress, physical injury and emotional dysregulation, as it builds resilience in us, so we can better cope with challenges and serve the needs of our family.

Just think how they tell us to put on our oxygen mask first on an airplane before we help others. It is so important to help others, but nurture yourself first, so you are at your best.

3. Your Spouse: Your Lifelong Partner 

Your marriage is the bedrock of your family. Prioritizing your spouse means investing time, love, and effort into your relationship. Think of your marriage as the nucleus of your family – a strong, loving relationship creates a stable environment for your children. Schedule regular date nights, communicate openly, and support each other’s growth. Remember, the love and respect you show each other sets a powerful example for your children.

4. Your Children: Your Legacy

Children are indeed a blessing and a great responsibility, but they thrive best in a home where they witness a strong, loving partnership between their parents. By placing your marriage second only to God, you ensure that your children grow up in a secure, nurturing environment. It’s essential to meet their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, but also to show them what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. When they know you two are strong and united, they feel like they too are standing on solid ground.

The Importance of Order

This hierarchy isn’t about neglecting any part of your life but about ensuring each element receives the attention and love it deserves. When you place God first, you anchor your life in faith. By prioritizing your spouse, you build a strong, united front. And by nurturing your children within this framework, you provide them with the best possible foundation for their own futures.

Let me share a quick story to illustrate this point: Imagine a tree. The roots represent your faith in God, the trunk symbolizes your marriage, and the branches and leaves are your children. If the roots are weak, the tree won’t stand tall. If the trunk is unhealthy, the branches can’t flourish. But when the roots are deep, and the trunk is strong, the entire tree – including its branches and leaves – thrives.

So, dear Overwhelmed in Okotoks, by keeping this order – God, spouse, children – you’re not only strengthening your marriage but also creating a successful environment for your entire family.

Warm regards,

Kari & Phil